Writing stopped being fun when I discovered the difference between good writing and bad and, even more terrifying, the difference between it and true art. And after that, the whip came down.

— Truman Capote

2 meetings this morning

The title means that I spent various meetings in my aspect of recovering cancer patient. I am a very classy, cool patient because Humphrey Bogart had it, and he is the ultimate of coolth. Therefor, this ultra-cool recently treated herself to two cancer meetings today, on right after another.

One meeting was working on getting our cancer center to be recognized as a properly qualified center.

The next meeting was about finding additional sources for a fundraiser. These funds will help younger researchers to develop their ideas and therefore become senior researches. Once they get funding from us, they have no problem dragging in more NSA money. So doesn’t that make us feel good? You bet.

That was the last meeting; I needed to get back home and flop down.

from last night

Chautauqua, NY

There were 2 movies watched tonight, but I was there for only 1 and a half. I got there halfway through the first movie, Death at a Funeral. The second was Juno. That was a good one. I wish I’d seen the whole of the first one. Movies were shown after dinner. We had BBQ and cole slaw.

I am still a bit overwhelmed by thinking that it was a whole year ago that I was here last, and that I was very weak from the operation for cancer still. I am proud of being stronger. I still wonder what the answers are to all the questions that cancer brought with it, like “What’s the meaning of life?” and “What is Death and should I be afraid of it?” I don’t know if I’m a bit wiser than I was before my diagnosis. Oh, forget it, I am wiser than I was. But not in the way that I thought I would be.

Boulder in June

Sometimes, it seems like I have two lives: one here in Boulder, one back in Cincinnati. I smoothy take up the reins of each as I arrive there. This is a very strange sort of double life.

But my memory has played tricks on me. I remembered to bring all of the camera’s cords and rechargers, just forgot the camera. I’ll rely on my trusty iPhone.

Last night, heading up the elevator, some people asked us if we’d had fun in our journey somewhere else. I was ready with an explanation, but Buck said we only really lived here part time. We’d live here more often if the animals were the transportable sort. Ask Barbara, I dare you, what happened when she tried to get our dog into her car. I worry about that animal….

Foggy Monday morning

I spent the weekend having fun with my newfound B12 deficiency. No, it’s not serious yet, but I get out of breath easily and wobble a lot. I head out to the doctors this morning for a vitamin shot. They intend to look at my Vitamin D levels too, which leads me to think this is not a terribly simple problem.

I was promised this deficiency — I no longer have the part of the stomach that processes B12 — but am a bit unnerved by its actual appearance.

Fortunately, it’s May, and the weather can cheer me up. It promises to be a sunny day, but we’re also close enough to the river to be covered with fog as I write. Some of the sunlight filters through it already, and hits the sycamores’ bark. Things look almost better in this fog than in sunlight.

As long as it’s sunny, I’ll pretend I am broadminded and like all sorts of weather!

Spring and Easter at last

Easter arrives cold and gray, just like it usually does around these parts. I figure that the weather is here to spite the fact that at least one of my daffodils has bloomed, and my friend up the street’s orange crocuses are in full flower. Nevertheless, spring is officially here now, with Easter, according to my personal calendar. And fun must be had. Too bad that Peter, at 22, is too old for an easter egg hunt.

What do I propose to do today? I may slink off to church for an actual service. Yes, for those who have been paying attention, that’s not something I’d normally do, which would be to figure out if I have any chametz left in the house.

Current state of soul right now: undefined, of inconclusive directions, given the clues available. That’s usually the state of things, though, when the rabbi you’ve been working with for years turns out to have been a crazy, mixed up, lying little bugger all along.

But enough about me… How is your day shaping up so far?

Snow wonderland

I am perhaps the only one in the area who is happy with all the snow. The fluff is still perfectly strewn across most of the landscape. Everything outside the window reminds me of the full-color photographs on some Christmas cards I saw as a toddler back in the Fifties.

(Yes, I was a toddler. Human growth and aging are continuous functions. Look up that definition again.)

Soon, I venture out into the snow again — we went out last night for sushi at the Bangkok Bistro, which I heartily love. Both the sushi and the restaurant.

But the sun is out and the world is dazzling. Will try to get some on camera.