In the end, Mitt Romney did the only thing he could to make people like him: He lost.
Ben Smith over at BuzzFeed
MODERATORS: Hey, Mitt Romney! What do you think about this Rick Perry fellow? My, he is shiny, and Texan!
ROMNEY: I have some qualities of my own that actually distinguish me as the better candidate.
MODERATORS: Oh, ho! Rick Perry, you’re not going to just sit there and take it, are you? You are Texan after all, and are supposed to have ‘swagger.’
PERRY: Well, you know. I also have some qualities that I think distinguish me as the better candidate.
MODERATORS: You don’t say?
PERRY: No. I did say.
OTHER CANDIDATES: Hey, are you going to ask any of us any questions?
MODERATORS: Sorry! We forgot about all you other guys! So, other guys, what do you think of Mitt Romney and/or Rick Perry?
OTHER CANDIDATES: Seriously? I mean, we came all the way here to participate in this.
MODERATORS: Sure, sure. But we established yesterday that this was the narrative. That today would be about Rick Perry and Mitt Romney? Many of us actually predicted that this is what would happen today.
OTHER CANDIDATES: We’re just saying.
MODERATORS: Did we mention that Rick Perry has presided over the executions of hundreds of people?
[WILD APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE]
The 2012 Speculatron Weekly Roundup For September 9, 2011]