Answering a letter

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I just received a letter from a former professor of mine at Vanderbilt. We’ve kept in touch over the years, but our last exchange of letters was about 5 years ago. He asks how I am.

How in the world do I write back and say, “Hi, glad you’re all okay, I have cancer”? That’s just too big of a narrative punch for an opening line. You’ve got to lead up gently to something like this.

I’m now cancer-free, as far as the doctors can tell. They’re afraid, of course, to say for certain that the cancer is completely gone, but they’ve come as close as they dare. All I’ve got to do now is gain my stamina back, and it’s coming back slowly. I’ve got enough hair back now that I look like a fashionable advertising vice-president.

I’ve done/experienced other newsy types of things in the past five years, enough for several letters probably. But the big “cancer” subject sits squarely in the middle of things and has to be talked about first. You can ask your friends not to worry all you want to, but they do anyway, and I don’t know how to stop that.

I am going to watch Jaws now and contemplate my letter. Advice is welcome.

3 thoughts on “Answering a letter”

  1. “There was some issue with a bunch of cells that went slightly berserk, but they’ve quieted down considerably for the moment. In the meantime, I’m feeling pretty darn good.”

  2. I just tell people straight out. I remember resenting, for a few minutes way back when, feeling like not only did I have to deal with cancer, but I had to console others who found out about it. “It’s not so bad, there, there. Gail’s going to be just fine and so will you.” I’m not saying I was right to feel this way, but it is how I felt from time to time.

    At other times, I was very grateful and touched that people were so caring – complete strangers, even. I got a big bear hug from a waiter once, who, when he saw my bald head couldn’t resist telling me that he’d had brain cancer twice and was in remission and feeling great and that soon I would be too.

    Telling others gets easier as time goes on. I use all the stock phrases when i don’t feel like talking about it: “Oh yeah, I had cancer. Yes, it was awful, but I am so lucky, feeling great, glad it’s over, whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” etc etc. And then I change the subject.

    I am very glad to hear that you are doing so well, Patti.

  3. Wow that’s a tough one, and you have such a great way with words.

    You could be very straight forward and tell him that the most important thing for him to know is that you are one month cancer free. Progressing very very well, and very happy with your place in the universe. When you have more time I’ll fill you in on the last five years.

    Love Other Patti

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