I need a new coffee house

Why I need a new coffee house

Yesterday afternoon, I came to the conclusion that I need a new coffee house to frequent. This thought came to me while I was actually sitting in the coffee house aforementioned.

No, the hot caffeinated (and cold caffeinated) beverages are of the same good quality as ever, as well as the service. It is a fellow coffee house goer that is driving me a tad nuts, or at the very least making it difficult to make my way peaceably through Colum McCann’s new TransAtlantic. He is a regular, like me, but unlike me, he is constantly surrounded by many textbooks (undergraduate level) and papers and usually a woman who seems to be slightly more of an assistant to him, but who only functions as a silent table mate, occasionally writing down things he tells her need to be done. He is also large and loud and proud of his knowledge.

He was also nearby my chair yesterday afternoon, and spent at least an hour talking to the man sitting in the chair between him and me. He was holding forth on many topics and getting them all slightly wrong. What finally broke me was him telling his quiet, attentive audience of one about the pineal gland and its link to the uppermost chakra that one learns about through too many yoga classes. And he kept mispronouncing the word pineal as pin-eel. I am enclosing my Apple Dictionary definition of pineal which says that it is pronounced the way I always thought it was.

I could take no more, and left, tossing away a nearly full cold caffeinated beverage.

Okay, I’ll go back, but I insist on bringing my big new earphones.