Things that should be obvious, from…
The Cheerful Oncologist
RULES OF THE CHEM LAB
1. Please do not break wind during hydrogen sulfide experiments.
2. All unauthorized use of helium will be charged to the offender’s account.
3. Do not write your name on the lens of your safety glasses.
4. Please attempt to keep your eye on your work rather than any adjacent cleavage.
5. All “Far Side” cartoons will be removed after 30 days.
6. Do not use the Bunsen burners to reheat your lunch – especially Tupperware.
7. There is a reason why benzene is no longer sold as an after-shave lotion. Don’t even think of it.
8. Hydrochloric acid and comedy routines also do not mix well together.
9. If it sounds like an explosion it most likely is. Run.
10. KMnO4 C6H12O6 friction is not a way to impress girls. It is a nice way to get a new wardrobe (once released from the hospital).
11. Attention all comics: Beer’s Law requires a colorimeter, not a flask.