In the course of avoiding packing my suitcase in order to leave London in the morning, I was just watching your evening news broadcast. I’m offering my assistance in order to straighten out, as we Yanks say, your newscaster.
He’s an awfully good-looking guy — you must know the one. I’m glad he’s so handsome because I feel assured he can look forward to a long career as a gigolo once his producer realizes that he has cheese for brains.
“Cheese for brains?” you say. “What do you mean?” Well, I’ll tell you.
He seemed confused, during the broadcast, as to what, exactly, constitutes that entity commonly known in certain circles as a “suicide bomber.” He did mention, during the newscast, that, what with the alleged bombers of London’s Underground trains and bus being dead and all (that’s a clue there, you know), having died in the actual bombings, we can’t ask them about their motives.
Therefore, he posits, we don’t know for certain what they meant to do. With the explosives and detonators, you know. So therefore, he reasons in his slipshod manner, we can’t really refer to them as “suicide bombers.”
Okay, here’s where I can help. First, let me examine exactly what we have here….
- Four (4) young men, who were
- militant Muslims, and were
- carrying roughly ten (10) pounds of explosives apiece (according to some newspaper guesses), as well as assorted detonators
- as they boarded three (3) Underground train cars and one (1) of those nice red double-decker buses that one always sees in the posters advertising London as a tourist destination in the travel agencies
- during morning rush hour
- when these conveyances could be exptected to be at or near capacity
That’s six (6) points there. And this is just off of the top of my head, you know. I could probably come up with some more if you wanted me to, and gave me some extra time.
So what else, Mr. BBC, do you think they might have been doing?
I shall now sign off for the evening and watch the program you’ve put on to follow the news, which seems to be a reality show involving couples who are to host a large wife-swapping party in Sussex. “It feels like a family preparing for Sunday lunch,” the TV says.
white pebble 